How's my posting?

People have been asking me how's my posting

"How's your posting now? Fun?"

So far, I haven't actually describe it as 'fun' but it is not terrible either

I have been asking myself whether it is normal to feel terribly blur right now or by now?

From taking history, doing physical examination to venepuncture, yet I am still walking aimlessly

When I tried to explain what I had done throughout 3 weeks and a half

Some responded that I had done a lot

Well, I am not sure that would be sufficient

I am still like a walking zombie around the ward

I am no longer as hardworking as before

Waking up before the sunrise to get a chance to take blood from patients

Despite getting some words from patients that they didn't want us students to poke them

Anyway, I did it in all of my attempts so far

Luck, perhaps?

I haven't done any physical examination in front of my registrar yet

I guess I am the only one left

I am not sure whether I am very blur or I lose my gut

Sigh...

I hope this is just another mental game that I have to face

Seriously, if you ask me to quit medicine and take other profession

I can tell you, I am not sure what I want to do and I will miss medicine 

So, why not I do what I want now and just let it be?

So what if i start with mistakes and end with perfection..

So what if i start with being guilty and end with being comfortable

So what if i start looking unreliable and end with professionalism

So what if i start really blur and end full of everything

So what if i feel terrible now and end with graduation...

So much of so what..

love