Saturday, 14 August 2010

You have to turn..

Warning : This is going to be a long winding one...

A turning that one's take in life does not exactly need to be a wrong turn or taking a longer road and regret about it. Some times, when there is the need to turn and to change direction, just do it. Whether I like it or not, in less than 72 hours (maybe), I have to move on to another stop where I don't have to scratch my scalp off to think whether to turn or not. There is no junction of choices, either. I might sound like a desperado right now, I hope to prove myself wrong along the way. 

A posting like internal medicine is a great challenge to trick my own brain from applying what I had MEMORIZED during my pre-clinical year into what is real in the ward has really dig in a big impact deep into my heart and soul. I could not forget the disappointing steps I took during my short case examination. Friends and family have tell me to just move on and that is life as how I told my friends as well. Until today, I expressed something very sincere and I have no doubt telling my mom that I love internal medicine. I told her I even wish to work in that department. Luckily, my brain and heart did not fight over who is right and who is wrong over the matter.

This is what I thought it would happen :

My heart : Feels the wonder of internal medicine and I want to be there in the future. (Then, transmit this to my mouth and I voice out to my mom)

My brain : You serious?! You suck in the exam and used to have your own day off to the ward.

Seriously, making serious decision has never been a major for me. Speaking about what I am studying and doing right now, I had never dream of it, never speak of it. 

When it comes to "What do you want to be when you grow up?" or the simpler version "What is your ambition?" back when I was in school, doctor has neither stay at the corner of my mouth nor trying to struggle to fit in my neurons.

During Standard One and Two, full of confidence I would answer that I want to be a teacher, a music teacher. My mom even agree with that, telling me it is appropriate for a girl to have a job that works half day. Mind you and myself, teacher does not really work half day. The side effects : hypertension.

I didn't know why I became so damn God creative when I was in Standard Three, I told my English teacher I want to be a deejay. No doubt, I listen to radio almost every day that time and love how they speak. You wouldn't know my answer when I was in Year Five, it was author. If that comes true, I am going to be an author writing books for insomnia people. In my last year of primary school, something serious (finally) popped in my head, I said I want to be a lawyer.

To become a lawyer stays as option until I finished my SPM, but more options on the way (you know, my decision making is pretty sucks). More to come such as taking mass communication (due to my fews success as the school events host and emcees) and pharmacy when I found my love in Biology. 

After all the process, the final product : I am strolling in the wards.

The sharp turn or I called it the 'hair pin turn' I am going to face soon from a very medical related subject to community health does impact my mood (where I am going to leave Prisma and house mates). Or maybe I am having serious typhoon of mood now, I am not very sure. 

So, here I am ready to take the challenge. I am going to take this hair pin turn and make the best out of it. I am going to love it. I want myself to declare this once I finish my second posting "I love being the JKM people". Here I go...




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